The Real Truth Behind My Career Path and Indecisiveness: How I Achieved, and Continue to Achieve, My Dream Career as My Phases in Life Change

I am often asked how Vella began and if I always dreamed of starting a children’s boutique. The short answer, is no, I did not always dream of starting a store. Vella was never in the picture when I was growing up and going through school. Let’s go back to the beginning.

Childhood Dreaming

When I was younger, I wanted to be a princess. I quickly discovered that wasn’t an option, not for me at least, so I changed my dream to becoming an attorney. At a young age, I knew this would be my career path. You can thank my mama for rubbing off on me.

An obvious career change: princess to attorney. It’s almost as obvious as attorney to children’s boutique owner/entrepreneur. Here is how it went.

Beginning My Career (Or What I Thought Was My Career)

I was the excited high school graduate that was ready to embark on my college life. Just like any college student, I was trying to find my balance and juggling school, a part time job, dating, going out with friends, and trying to figure out my true fit for my career path. I entered college knowing I wanted to be an attorney. I had my life planned out. I would major in political science with a minor in criminal justice. I would go on to take the LSAT, and then go to law school at the University of North Dakota. I would move back to Fargo and marry my high school sweetheart. It would be easy, and I just had to get through the next four years.

After the first year at UND, I did what every rational college student would do when they went through a breakup. I transferred away from the boy and moved back to my hometown. I also then had to admit that I picked where I went to school for him, despite me telling people it was a coincidence. So that was that. I transferred from UND to NDSU and changed my major and career path. NDSU had a great pharmacy program, and a lot of the classes for political science were early in the morning or in the evening (if you know me, you know I don't do mornings). The obvious decision was to go from pursing law school to pharmacy school. Well, until I realized that I couldn’t pass the intro to biology class and couldn’t stand the thought of dissecting an eyeball, let alone a person or animal. Also, I was back on with my boyfriend. Once again, the obvious decision: back to political science we go and back to the UND. Of course, I explained how going back to UND had nothing to do with my boyfriend, again.

I stayed on the path to law school after the second year of college (except for the brief week I decided I should be a social worker). As I think back to these years to write this, I am shocked by one thing: I somehow managed to graduate in the normal four years despite my three different career paths. I’m still not sure how I pulled that one off.

Next up, law school. I was on my way to becoming the next Elle Woods. I was breezing through law school (some classes more than others). My boyfriend that I followed to UND became my husband.

 Interjection: my son is sitting on my lap as I type this. He just looked up at me with his big brown eyes and said, “mommy I want to be a sheep.” Oh, how I love this kid and his crazy ideas. Maybe he does take after me. He is also a dreamer.

So, I commuted 73 miles for class each day, including in the summers. I got through law school in 2.5 years, passed the bar exam, and landed my first job as an attorney in private practice. I had finally entered my dream profession. I was a family law attorney that worked on cases primarily dealing with child custody, divorce, parental rights, and domestic violence. I LOVED it. That led to my second job at a different firm, which also became my final job. After a few years, I knew it was time to leave my career. Not because I didn’t love what I did for my professional life, but because I loved what I did for my personal life more. I am married to a husband who is an entrepeneur and travels a lot for work. Our kid was the first one to daycare and the last one picked up. It wasn't what I pictured for my life. There are still days I think back to my career and the clients I worked with, but I have never regretted my decision to leave. If I went back to a traditional career, I would go back to family law because I truly loved it.

The Cold Hard Truth

At the time I left my career, I wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted to do. For the first time in my life, I really didn’t have my life figured out. I had no real plans. I was winging it. I was fortunate that my husband had a successful business, and I could take a little time to figure it out. I learned quickly that I didn’t want to stay home with the kiddos. I tried that for a couple months and it was the hardest job I have ever had. Kuddos to those of you who can do it. I envy you. So I was left with two facts: (1) I didn’t want to be away from my children for long hours, and (2) I couldn’t be with them for long hours. That was the beginning of my entrepreneurial career. I guess you could say I was influenced by my husband.

My husband and I started and ended an online CBD company in the same year. Turns out you really do have to stick with passions if you want to be wildly successful in what you do. The silver lining is I basically got a degree in business and marketing from that experience. I learned a lot and was able to learn from my mistakes. While my husband kept working his day job, I ventured into starting a children’s boutique. What started as an online business quickly became a brick and mortar when I was joined by a fellow “retired” divorce attorney. In four months from opening the brick and mortar, we grew from 1,699 square feet to 3,078 square feet, expanded sizes from 4T to up to 8T, expanded to toys, books, gear, and other essentials, and grew from 2 team members to 10 team members. I had finally found my calling. For those of you itching to check it out, it is called Vella Kids Boutique. (**More information is at the end about Vella’s history for those wondering how we grew – and maybe I will do a post dedicated just to growing Vella later**)

Next up: a friend and I started and ended a home décor store in the same year. Sound familiar? Want to guess the reason behind the closing? Yes, there were other reasons too, but the gist of it: you need to stick with your passions. I once again got hit in the face with reality. Stop starting something for any reason other than it aligns with your passions. So now I ask myself: what are my passions and what do I want to be when I grow up? I quickly answered: I want to be a present mom and wife. I want to grow Vella Kids Boutique into the beast I know it can be. I want to inspire and encourage others to chase their dreams. I want to live my life for me and my family.

As I write this, I am watching my children play outside. I can leave the door open, get in some work, and still interact with my children. I may not be the same professional I was when I was in my past career. Now instead of sitting at a desk dressed in slacks and a blazer, I am sitting/laying/standing wherever I find a spot by my children, waiting for one of them to come shut my computer and I am definitely not in slacks and a blazer. I am barely showered, with my hair in a bun, and in leggings so I can easily go between parenting and working on my computer. My mind no longer works from A to B. Instead, we go A to G to M to D to B. We get there, but it takes some time. And now, my mind just works better in the chaos.

So, I ask you. What do you want to be when you grow up? Are you already there or is something missing? There is no clear path toward reaching your dream, and it wasn’t until the last couple months that I really feel I hit mine. But even as I sit here today thinking about my future, I am realistic in the fact that my dreams/goals will change as my phases in life change. And that’s okay. You don’t need a clear-cut answer, you just need to be listening to your heart.

Until next time loves.

XOXO,

Ash

**Let's have some fun. If you could do anything you wanted (career or otherwise), without any obstacles, what would it be? Let me know in the comments!

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More On The History of Vella

I started Vella as an online boutique in October of 2020. It was the middle of the pandemic, so starting Vella as a brick and mortar was not in the cards. Instead, I grew online until we received overwhelming requests for Vella to become a physical store due to the need in the Fargo-Moorhead area. About a year later, I was approached by my now business partner, Elle. Elle was also a family law attorney. We met one night because she wanted to know more about why I quit my legal career and how it went. After a couple glasses of wine, we had plans to meet the next week to discuss her joining Vella and us growing the business together. Our dreams and goals aligned, and it was full speed ahead.

We had an opportunity to have a space in our local mall as part of a “collective” concept. We had a small storefront and received a great deal from our mall to test our concept for a few months. We opened that storefront in October of 2021. A few months later, we grew Vella beyond what we imagined possible, and knew we needed a bigger, long-term space. In February 2022, we moved to the new location, which was double the previous. That is Vella’s current home and we cannot wait to see how much more we grow.